Tuesday 1st May 2007: It's May! The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the papers are early! Yep, 4:10am and the main van arrived although he did mention that their barcode scanning system was down and couldn't be used to scan the papers on and off the van. And they were very early...coincidence? We had a chap in quite early today to pay his mother's paper bill and to do a jigsaw puzzle. Maybe I should explain. Apparently his mother asked him on Saturday to pop the money in, however he left it at her house until Sunday only they then couldn't find it. Turns out that his mother thought he'd taken the money and left the invoice and envelope behind and subsequently tore in it half only to later realise that the £10 note was still inside! A bit of handywork with the sellotape soon sorted it out though.
Wednesday 2nd May 2007: Extra time and penalties in the football last night was a bit of a double whammy. Not only was I still up at 10:20pm watching it (I know, no-one forced me to stay up!) but it almost certainly meant late papers this morning. Imagine my surprise and delight when both vans turned up at 4:15am! One of our early deliverers is a massive Liverpool fan and after their success on penalties last night, it was quite a sight seeing her run from her car into the marking up room with arms waving in the air singing "Here we go!" at the top of her voice. You'll Never Walk Alone would have been more appropriate but I'm splitting hairs now. We have a royal
visit to Frome today as the Duchess of Gloucester is officially opening a new hut at one of our primary schools. Both my wife and my business partner's daughter have been invited due to connections with the school so if you hear of any incidents on the news, it's probably true! I reckon my invite was lost in the post.
Thursday 3rd May 2007: Firstly a word to some of our overseas readers: Bom dia. Esperamo-lo são todo poço hoje
Okay onwards as the Standards arrived on time again and all the papers were in early although not as spectacular as yesterday.
Bit of a crisis later in the morning as both our till and computer decided to have a combined power failure although after a few
minutes we found out that one of the fuse thingys had popped out of the fuse box thing. You can tell I'm not up to date on the technical names eh!
Incidentally, the opening Portuguese phrase should say a nice friendly welcome but if it says something like "My pet grape
married a swordfish on top of a purple ladder." then blame the web based translator web sites!
Friday 4th May 2007: Papers were quite late today as they turned up just after 5am and the barcode scanner is working again. Draw your own conclusions I guess! Myself and my business partner Denise generally get on well and usually easily manage to iron out any problems apart from over one small thing - Shortbread biscuits! The deal is quite simple in that I generally stock up our food store (aka bottom drawer under the printer) on a Friday which usually includes a packet or two of shortbread. Then either of us simply grab a finger when we fancy one, however as they are very more-ish, one finger quickly turns into half a dozen and more and before we know it when I come in on a Tuesday, there are none left after the Monday (my day off) feast takes place. I now have two choices, either find a new hiding place or gorge the whole lot myself over the weekend.
Saturday 5th May 2007: Papers nicely on time today, arriving just after 4:30am. Much like most Bank Holiday weekends, the papers are comparatively thin and there are no free CDs or DVDs to get in the way and make folding impossible. I've developed a sore throat and weird sounding voice overnight which makes me sound like a cross between Rod Stewart and a dalek! I'm trying the tried and tested combination of paracetamol, buttercup syrup and pepsi with occasional bites on a piece of shortbread and, bit by bit, it seems to be doing the trick although answering the phone could be interesting today. Maybe I could use morse code or something.
Sunday 6th May 2007: On a Sunday, we tend to have the radio on in the marking up room just to pass the time whilst
we do the inserts and the fact that it's very quiet out there, however when I switched it on and Daniel Powter's `Bad Day` blared out, I should have seen it as a subliminal
message. To be fair, it began well with papers in early. I had two big rounds to get done and I was out before 6am which was ideal
and even the first of the rounds went smoothly enough and then I got to the beginning of the second. One such street I had to
drive to do deliver to three calls was totally blocked by a car seemingly left in the middle of the road. With cars already parked on
one side, this vehicle had jammed the remainder of it and there was no driver anywhere. I gave it a minute and then reversed out
and went onto the next road with the intention of coming back. This I did ten minutes later to find said car still there but now
a lady was close by and having given me the stare (was it my fault her car was in the way??) she asked if I needed to get through?
(Nope, just happy to sit there at 7am on a Sunday and watch the world go by!). She explained that there wasn't room on her driveway
for all three (!!) cars and she had to move one to get the blocking car back onto it. No problem I stated, I'll come back when I've
finished the round. Half an hour later and all papers done apart from the three down this particular road and the car WAS STILL
BLOCKING THE ROAD!! No sign of the lady although her driveway now had room on it for (presumably) the blocking car. With my usual
placid temper now rising, myself and a 4x4 driver behind me decided that the only way around was to literally drive on the pavement
and hope that there was enough room to avoid the neighbours gardens! Thankfully there was but even after coming out again there was
still no sign of the lady. Just when you think you've seen everything, something else smacks you in the chops to make you realise
that reality really is stranger than fiction.
Monday 7th May 2007: Another Bank Holiday which, on the plus side, means early closing for us, however on the down side, a combination of staff holidays (the usual Monday lady) and an extended weekend break at the caravan meant that I'm in on my day off. Still, never mind as the papers were nice and early again. Walking to work first thing on a Bank Holiday is like walking onto the set of 28 Days Later as it's so quiet it's almost unreal. Thankfully there was no sign of flesh eating zombies although I did run into a couple of men walking their dogs and seemingly intent on making as much noise as possible which ironically included telling their dogs to stop barking at a decibel level which would have done a town crier proud. As is typical for Bank Hols, the rain started overnight and is gradually turning from light drizzle to something heavier which should stem the flow of day-trippers off to the seaside, not that we were planning on a day at the beach anyway. Finally, one of our adults deliverers came in limping quite badly today. He has a field on the outskirts of town where he keeps various farm animals and it turns out that his turkey (who dislikes him anyway) charged at him yesterday and our man aimed a well timed kick at the animal to defend himself and has done some damage to his foot! The turkey remains unharmed though!
Tuesday 8th May 2007: One of our early adults was in a good half an hour earlier than usual today and beat the papers! It turns out that her electric had gone off sometime overnight, leaving the house in darkness and, more to the point, her unable to find out how the World Snooker Final ended up! I rang the emergency electric phoneline thing for her so hopefully that got sorted pretty quickly. Papers were nice and early again so we had a flyer which is a huge help this week with one of our main adult helpers away in Norwich (Actually I know a song about Norwich to the tune of The Addams Fanmily these but perhaps we'll save that for another day!!). Yesterday we had the odd moan that we were closing early for a Bank Holiday (as if we aren't allowed to spend time with our own families) although one chap clearly had a good memory and was planning well in advance. Not only did he point out that we closed before 10am last Boxing Day (he's probably right although I really can't recall) but he also asked what time we were closing THIS Boxing Day!! I thought he was joking but nope, deadly serious. I dunno what's happening next week yet let alone in seven and half months time.
Wednesday 9th May 2007: Nothing major to report this morning with papers in on time, no major problems and all electricity working! I see to have done something to my upper arm and shoulder when unloading the van and although it only twinged earlier on when I did it, as the morning goes on, it's getting more and more awkward when moving my arm. Oh well, just another cross to bear I guess.
Thursday 10th May 2007: After a long day yesterday, I'd hoped for a
decent night's sleep last night, even to the extent of going to bed with the
football (Chelsea B v Man United B) only at half time. Sadly for me I'd mis-set my alarm clock by half an
hour and when it burst into action, so did I and only when I got downstairs did I realise that it was only 2:30am. All was well
enough when I got to work with Standards in again and whilst the main papers were a little late, it was nothing major. In our
office we have two office chairs - the type that are on castors. This makes you lazy to the point that I've got to the stage that
I wheel myself a few yards across the width of the office rather than walk. This all backfired when I did as described and then leant
over the arm of the chair to pick a newsbag up only to overbalance. Two of the castors lifted off the floor, sending me over the side
of the chair and face first onto a pile of returns. The chair then slumped straight onto my back, leaving me knowing just how a tortoise
feels when he's in his shell! The only plus point was that no-one witnessed it even though one of our papergirls was out the
back sorting her round. There's a moral to this story. I'll let you know if I figure out what it is.
Friday 11th May 2007: Re-runs today with the Guardian late. Not the end of the world although still causes problems, just not as many as when the Mail or WDP are late for example. They were in at around 7:15am although they took almost half an hour to travel the last five miles as someone ran over a cat in front of our van driver who, quite rightly, stopped and tried to raise the owner. Puts 44 late Guardian into perspective a little though doesn't it. Most of our early adults came back to give us a hand with the late arrivals. My fitness campaign (aka don't be lazy and get off of the chair or it will turn against you) is going well with no life threatening situations arising thankfully.
Saturday 12th May 2007: Things nicely on time today and all papers in so a good start for a Saturday and as I type, the sun is actually coming out after a few days of
persistent rain. Walking to work today, and even whilst we were waiting for the papers, there seemed to be a lot of pub/club stragglers still making their way home or at least more so than usual and it reminded me of a joke from the
brilliant Billy Connolly who once asked what the most common problem was at Doctor's surgery's on a Monday morning. The answer? Crushed fingers where people had them stepped on whilst they were crawling home from the pubs!
Sunday 13th May 2007: Just as I typed the date, it occurred to me that it is the 13th. It explains a lot! The day actually
began well with the main batch of papers in at a remarkable 3:45am and the usually early Times and News Of The World in a
few minutes later. We had two kids away this weekend but this accounted for five rounds between them, however they were all in a
large circle and I had them done by 7:30am only to find that another of our girls was stuck in Bath and couldn't come in. Again,
the round was nearby and not a major problem. Among all this, our car seemed to be getting louder whilst revving it and eventually
a trip to our local type specialists (open on a Sunday!) revealed snapped exhaust brackets. The repair will be done tomorrow.
Whilst on the rounds I had a major blonde moment when delivering to a house. I thought I saw the customer at the far end of their
hall as I glanced through the glass panel at the top of their door above the letterbox. I put my hand up and waved and smiled to
myself when he did the same thing at precisely the same time. I reckon the pouring rain had got to me as it was at that moment I
realised that they had a mirror at the end of their hall!
Tuesday 15th May 2007: Quite a `normal` morning today with papers in well on time with both
vans turning up at the same time! All deliverers were in including one who went to great lengths to `remind` us that tomorrow is
his 16th birthday. My inadvertent plan to injure myself in ridiculous ways seems to have taken another twist although the latest one
happened at home as I knelt on a tin of dog food as I went to load the washing machine. My right knee now has the imprint of the side
of a tin of Pedigree Chum. To finish, a quick one from my Sunday work colleague who stayed up on Saturday to watch the Eurovision
Song Contest and then asked me during the morning why the Americans never take part! The name
EUROvision might explain that.
Wednesday 16th May 2007: I think they must be putting something in the water here in Frome. One of the other newspaper
selling convenience stores is closed all week for refurbishment so we are seeing some new faces this week which is nice although it
was a regular who came in at 5am asking if the Standards were in. When I pointed out that he was a day early, he seemed more
annoyed that he still had three days at work rather than two! One new face came in to buy a Sun and asked for the free DVD. I told
him that it was a `take the voucher and collect it from Martins` job and he point blank refused to buy the paper from us if we couldn't
provide a DVD that we, or anyone else (apart from Martins) handle. All over a copy of Carry on Cruising! Thanks to a miscalculation
online, we found out that the Inland Revenue owe us money. Dunno what we'll do with the £6 yet though!
Thursday 17th May 2007: Another Thursday and another early arrival of the Standards. At the risk of tempting fate, I can't
recall when they were last late although it must be getting on for three months. Good on them. The dailies followed suit, arriving
before 4am which was ideal with one of our early adults away for the rest of the week and others doing extra. The Sun and Times weren't far
behind although they would have been earlier had the sliding door at the side of his van not come off at an earlier drop. Our
papers always come out of his back doors but it was quite a sight seeing the door in the back of his van. All downhill after
the cracking start though with one boy and one girl away due to early exams at school and another lad off ill, leaving yours
truly rushing around like the proverbial fly with the strange coloured rear-end. Never mind, these things happen and serve as a
timely reminder that for each smooth morning, a dodgy one is not usually too far away.
Friday 18th May 2007: A bit of an early shock to the system today as I strolled into work and unlocked the office door
only to be confronted by a snake dangling from the ceiling! Closer inspection and a flick of the light switch revealed a paper snake
which I later found out was made by Denise's grandson and imaginatively named `Snakie`, was hung from the light. It could have been
worse as the aforementioned grandson apparently wants a pet spider! After that, the papers were a little later today, arriving at around
4:50am but on the plus side all the absent kids from yesterday were in apart from the one that we knew about it advance.
Saturday 19th May 2007: It was this weekend last year that we made the switch fropm shop to office in a blaze of glory and a Saturday afternoon of moving stands and equipment from one to the other. To celebrate this, it began badly with some of the Telegraph inserts and Guardian mags missing from the overnight `pre-run` and then the usually early Sun and Times not in until 4:20am. From thereon things improved with the missing stuff in with the papers dead on 4:30am and a smooth run through the morning although one of our lads somehow managed to take almost THREE hours from coming into the shop to actually finishing his round which must be a record. He blamed in on `meeting a mate and having a chat`. I could think of a better discription. Today is FA Cup Final day so my prediction is a narrow win for Man United with Cristiano Ronaldo opening the scoring and at least one player being sent off. On a final football note, my father-in-law told me the following joke on the phone yesterday. What's the connection between a cordless drill and the Championship? Answer - No leads (Leeds)! Nothing like rubbing salt into gaping wounds is there?
Sunday 20th May 2007: Whilst wandering to work at silly o'clock, it struck me as to how quiet it was considering it was a
Saturday night/Sunday morning for the pub and clubbers. That was until I got into the nearby Sheppards Barton where I could hear
a bass `boom boom boom` sound which gradually got louder until I came to the house where it originated and where the music was loud
enough to hear clearly from outside. I'll bet the neighbours were delighted! Thankfully the office was just far enough away not
to be able to hear it. Out walking a round later in the morning, I was lucky enough to see a squirrel jump out of a tree in
front of me. He wasn't quite so thrilled and took one glance before darting off im the opposite direction! As for the papers, no
problems with all in by 4:15am and all kids in and out on time (daily lads take note please that the Sunday ones know how to
do it!). One of our Sunday lads is leaving soon after earning an apprenticeship. Between him, his brother and his father, they've been
doing Sunday's for SIX years. It'll be odd not to see them come in any more although equally good to see hard workers get the
first break they need in the job marketplace.
Tuesday 22nd May 2007: A bit of excitement first thing today as two police cars came to a halt at the bottom of the road almost opposite us and then one of the officers ran up the road before coming back down again. They were gone again inside 15 minutes but we still have no idea what happened. It was like an episode of Cracker followed by a
cliff-hanger ending worthy of 24. Tomorrow we may well bring you, "Previously on Frome Police In Action". Both vans arrived at more or less the same time today which was fine and at the time of writing the sun (the bright hot thing in the sky, not the newspaper!) has just made an appearance which always seems to put people in a better mood. The Radio Times has had a revamp today and the price has gone up 2p so we're preparing for a mass exodus of customers who don't like the new look.
Wednesday 23rd May 2007: Papers very early today which was excellent and no major problems to report. We've heard no more
about yesterday's fun and games with the police presence nearby so it remains anyone's guess as to what was going on. Tonight is
the Champions League Final and although I'd like to see Liverpool win, from a selfish point of view, no extra time would be great
as it would give us hope of getting the papers in on time. We shall see.
Thursday 24th May 2007: Well, there was no extra time (close though) and sadly Liverpool lost which meant my promise to
one Liverpool supporting paperboy that I would display his Liverpool scarf if they won has not happened. The papers were later
though with the main batch in at 4:50am and the Sun and Times arriving just under half an hour later. This had a knock on effect
on what is our busiest morning as regards work to be done is concerned. Our Liverpool supporting early lady had already booked the day
off so a couple of areas were a little later than usual, however all things considered, we had very few phone calls regarding late(r)
papers so well done to all who did extra. On a final note, I asked the aforementioned scarf boy if he was disappointed after the
defeat. He told me that it was better to have lost in the Champions League Final than to have been relegated from the Championship.
Smart-ass kids have an answer for everything these days!
